When, at party, whenever I ended up being 15 or 16 years of age, a woman I’d been talking with for just two mins asked me if I experienced a gf.
“No, ” we responded. “I’m gay. ”
“Oh my god! ” She stated, unexpectedly pleased. “Will you be my homosexual closest friend? ”
This is maybe not the very first time we have been extended this kind of invite. If i’d go shopping with her before I could reply, she asked. We rolled and grimaced my eyes, a reply she deemed rude. She hadn’t supposed to offend me personally. But she additionally most likely had no concept exactly how insulting it absolutely was to attempt to deputize me personally as her brand new sidekick moments after fulfilling me personally, due to the fact I became homosexual.
There appears to be this notion, underlined by programs like Will & Grace as well as other very very early aughts news, that right women can be natural allies to men that are gay. That asking for some one be your homosexual sidekick ought to be viewed as free — and sometimes even some sort of acceptance — instead of ignorant or insensitive. It is perhaps not that there is not some truth to your cliche; i really believe that the relationship between a man that is gay a straight woman could be a unique and unique thing, due to a commonality of expertise. In reality, my longest-lasting, closest friendships have now been with ladies — but none among these relationships hinge on my identification, and I also believe if We had been to refer to virtually any of these as my “fag hag, ” it could end in me personally getting a razor-sharp punch towards the kidneys. (more…)